Kisah Tentang Sempurna

Salam/ Peace be upon you,

Sini apis nak share satu cerita. Satu perbualan (mungkin chat, tak ingat la) yang berlaku antara apis dengan seorang ni (nama dirahsiakan, jangan risau) agak lama dulu (setahun dua lepas kot). Topik sembang punya banyak masa tu (pasal studylah, life, etc.. ) tapi tentang kisah yang ini, apis paling ingat sekali. Sebab ayat yang dia cakap kat apis.

She told me, dia sebenarnya sangat jeles kat apis. Dia dah jeles lama dah. Apis pun pelik la, apasal pula nak jeles ngan apis? Apis bukan apa-apa pun. Then dia cakap, dia jeles yang apis good in academics (good lah sangat.. adoi), dia jeles yang apis ada family yang loving, dia jeles yang apis ni hidup senang sebab keluarga berada (hell no!), apa ntah lagi dia jeles, lupa dah. Then dia cakap yang apis punya hidup ni so perfect, tak ada masalah langsung. Unlike hers.

Then senyap jap. Apis tak tahu nak bagi tau dia apa. I was speechless. Forgot what I told her lepas tu. Did I console her or anything after that? Entah. Lupa. Yang apis ingat, I didn’t tell her the true story. And this, if you are reading, is the real story.

Sesetengah perfection yang awak perceive sebagai perfection tu ada di situ sebab the other side of it awak tak nampak. I hide it from you dan dari kebanyakan orang. God blessed me with lots of wonderful things, and I should be thankful (walaupun selalu je lupa), but I’m not perfect. Nobody is. He took something away from me too. Something yang too complicated and private to be discussed here. Something yang for me, sangat2 bernilai. I learned to live with it, and still do.

I also have breakdown at times. Sometimes for no apparent reason (pms kot, hahah). ha, kan ke lemah tu. but I’m lucky to have this really2 good friend of mine yang akan terus contact apis bila dia rasa apis perlukan someone to talk to. Ni long distance friendship ha.. felt truly blessed to have him as a friend. I knw you got yours too when things get tough. Jadi tengok, kita bukanlah beza sangat pun.

I do hope you have a better view about life now. Nothing is ever perfect, except God lah. Everyone is dealing with their imperfections in their own way. Jujur apis sebenarnya rasa nak nangis when you told me that my life seems perfect. Please don’t say that ever again, to anyone. Jangan buat kesimpulan terlalu awal. What makes me write this? Call me if you really want to know.

Nite!

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