Cinta?

Salam/ Peace be upon you,

Cinta?

Cinta itu both indah dan menyeksakan. Serius. You don’t have to be in a relationship pun to know that. Yes, that extra attention and care from a certain someone tu buat cinta nampak indah belaka. Well, it is. Then again, equal percentage of being afraid of losing that very person, or betrayed of trust given buat cinta jadi sangat menyeksakan, kadang, sampai menggilakan. And like some things in life, cinta itu terlalu kompleks. Mungkin antara yang terkompleks sekali.

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Kisah Tentang Sempurna

Salam/ Peace be upon you,

Sini apis nak share satu cerita. Satu perbualan (mungkin chat, tak ingat la) yang berlaku antara apis dengan seorang ni (nama dirahsiakan, jangan risau) agak lama dulu (setahun dua lepas kot). Topik sembang punya banyak masa tu (pasal studylah, life, etc.. ) tapi tentang kisah yang ini, apis paling ingat sekali. Sebab ayat yang dia cakap kat apis.

She told me, dia sebenarnya sangat jeles kat apis. Dia dah jeles lama dah. Apis pun pelik la, apasal pula nak jeles ngan apis? Apis bukan apa-apa pun. Then dia cakap, dia jeles yang apis good in academics (good lah sangat.. adoi), dia jeles yang apis ada family yang loving, dia jeles yang apis ni hidup senang sebab keluarga berada (hell no!), apa ntah lagi dia jeles, lupa dah. Then dia cakap yang apis punya hidup ni so perfect, tak ada masalah langsung. Unlike hers.

Then senyap jap. Apis tak tahu nak bagi tau dia apa. I was speechless. Forgot what I told her lepas tu. Did I console her or anything after that? Entah. Lupa. Yang apis ingat, I didn’t tell her the true story. And this, if you are reading, is the real story.

Sesetengah perfection yang awak perceive sebagai perfection tu ada di situ sebab the other side of it awak tak nampak. I hide it from you dan dari kebanyakan orang. God blessed me with lots of wonderful things, and I should be thankful (walaupun selalu je lupa), but I’m not perfect. Nobody is. He took something away from me too. Something yang too complicated and private to be discussed here. Something yang for me, sangat2 bernilai. I learned to live with it, and still do.

I also have breakdown at times. Sometimes for no apparent reason (pms kot, hahah). ha, kan ke lemah tu. but I’m lucky to have this really2 good friend of mine yang akan terus contact apis bila dia rasa apis perlukan someone to talk to. Ni long distance friendship ha.. felt truly blessed to have him as a friend. I knw you got yours too when things get tough. Jadi tengok, kita bukanlah beza sangat pun.

I do hope you have a better view about life now. Nothing is ever perfect, except God lah. Everyone is dealing with their imperfections in their own way. Jujur apis sebenarnya rasa nak nangis when you told me that my life seems perfect. Please don’t say that ever again, to anyone. Jangan buat kesimpulan terlalu awal. What makes me write this? Call me if you really want to know.

Nite!

Journey to the West (A reflection)

Salam/ Peace be upon you,

There are actually few things that I wish to share here about what I’ve seen and learned while on my journey in the States. Hope it’s useful to anyone reading too!

1. I can’t help but to notice that most Americans are practicing the way of socializing promoted by the Prophet (which ironically, aren’t really practiced, at least in Malaysia, by the Muslims themselves). They smile and greet you, even if they don’t know you. Saying “Bless you!” to anyone that sneezed. I have to admit that over there it is easy for me to do so because everyone around is doing it but back in Malaysia, saying “Yarhamukallah” (meaning: May Allah bless you) in public does feel a little bit weird, at least for me it is. Dunno why. More about Islamic customs here.

Continue reading Journey to the West (A reflection)

Journey to the West (part 5: closing)

Salam/ Peace be upon you,

This part here kicks off rather sadly. I left Wildwood together with Christy, Soon Kiat and Mimi on a gloomy Tuesday morning. Thanks to their landlord, we didn’t have to drag our bags all the way to the bus station. They were really really heavy. Once we were in the bus, I started to feel horribly sad. God, feels like I’m in a movie, with this sort of mood and scenes. Sobs. It took us about one hour to reach Atlantic City Bus Terminal and from there, it’s another 2 hours before we reach Port Authority of New York. It started raining in Atlantic City, making the journey all the more sadder.

Wonderful landlord and his wife, Herman and Christine. Bid goodbye to them the night before.
Kemas katil dan bilik before keluar. Sedih tau time ni.
Goodbye, Wildwood!
Started raining at Atlantic City Bus Terminal

Continue reading Journey to the West (part 5: closing)

Journey to the West (part 5 : pre-closing)

Salam/ Peace be upon you,

Oh so can’t believe that I’m already in week 6 of my final year 1st semester. Nonetheless, memories of traveling in the USA still lingers strongly in my mind. Can’t believe that that’s over too! As if I was dreaming. Anyways, this post goes to you, F.A.R. πŸ˜›

Picking on where I stopped last time, it should be obvious that this gonna be a long one. Please bear with me, okay? πŸ˜€ To make it easier to follow and less messy, I’ll use the point form.

1. First stop, Delaware

Tanger Outlet in Delaware is one of many shopping paradise located nearest to Wildwood. You can find branded items there i.e. Levi’s, Coach, Hush Puppies, etc at a much lower price. A thing that makes it more attractive compared to the one in Atlantic City is that there is no sales tax there meaning that you can shop more, for less! I went there with Christy and Soon Kiat by ferry, Cape May – Lewes Ferry to be exact, and it took us about 1 and a half hour to arrive there from Cape May jetty. By the end of the day they spent about 600 dollars, each. While the only thing that I bought is a pair of Levi’s jeans. I’m not much of a spender, I guess and I’m kinda saving my money to pay back to my dad (haha..guess how it goes).

Somewhere in Cape May
Sun bathing atas feri

Continue reading Journey to the West (part 5 : pre-closing)

Journey to the West (part 4)

Salam/ Peace be upon you,

It is now the 16th day of Ramadhan. About 2 more weeks left for the fasting month to end. Oh how time flies. Fasting in the States during summer isn’t as bad as I imagined. Sure, the fasting period is significantly longer (from around 4 a.m. until 8 p.m.) about 16 hours but Alhamdulillah (All Praise to God) I managed to get through so far.

This week is gonna be my 5th week working as ride operator. I’m the one who asked for the change actually, in order to get more working hours. More hours, more money so I thought. Since the admissions team are pretty small and in my view somewhat over hired, I guessed that my only way to get more hours is by joining the operations team. There are actually other reasons on why I decided to change but it is better for me to keep it to myself. Bulan puasa tak baik mengumpat. Kurang pahala puasa nanti. πŸ˜›

Last day kerja dekat ticket booth 7/17/2011

Working as ride operator is totally different from working in the air-conditioned ticket booth. Instead of cool air and sitting down, you gonna have to face the hot sun and stand throughout your shift (talk about 5-7 hours long, with one 15 minutes break). I knew that before hand but as mentioned before, in order to get more hours I am willing to sacrifice the comfort that I’ve been enjoying for the past 1 and a half month. With my back bone problem and the holy month of Ramadhan coming, it is not the smartest move to be honest. Kinda regret it the moment I asked for it (was granted the next day btw, tak ada masa nak appeal balik pun adeh..). But one thing for sure, I believe that everything happened for a reason and only God knows what is best for me.

Continue reading Journey to the West (part 4)

Journey to the West (part 3)

Salam/ Peace be upon you,

Ok. On previous post (J2tW – part 2), I’ve mentioned that I’ll tell why I chose admissions job prior to my arrival. This is why:

  1. Considering that it is summer, I wanna work under shades/ booth. **Panas kot kalau duduk kat luar. And I am already tanned enough! πŸ˜›
  2. I wanna improve my English. Being in admissions, I believe that I can get more chances to meet and communicate with the people/ guests.
  3. My backbone problem. I can’t stand up too long or else my back pain would kill me. Sangat sakit ok! 😦

**To those who know, I did complain on facebook (or is it twitter?) when I first came here that the weather is somewhat cold and not what I’ve expected for summer. Turns out few days later, this part of the State experienced higher than normal temperature reading. It was boiling outside. Even duduk dalam bilik dan pasang kipas pun berpeluh. haha.. amek ko Apis, Tuhan bayar cash! Ever since, aku belajar insafkan diri dari minta benda bukan2 dan diluar pengetahuan aku (rupanya time tu musim peralihan musim, belum sepenuhnya summer..)

Masa kerja dekat guest service

Continue reading Journey to the West (part 3)