26th on the 26th!

2ne6 A week into my 26th-hood, nothing much has changed. Not that it should, just that looking back at the year before, felt that I haven’t achieved much. Felt that my life has been nothing but stagnant. Glimpse into the yesteryear then brought me to question, what have I achieved in life, really? I know perhaps it’s a little too early for the topic at this age but I can’t seem to push it away. Achievement to me is many things. From being able to do something you’re passionate about, being able to put smile on people’s faces, and more importantly being able to feel content with self. I want to make change, impact other people’s life (in good ways, lah,,) and be someone that my family can be proud of. Somehow in many, felt that I fell short. So here’s all the things that I want to achieve (also some words of advice) for future self to look at at times, to reflect. Continue reading 26th on the 26th!


Kisah Tentang Sempurna

Salam/ Peace be upon you,

Sini apis nak share satu cerita. Satu perbualan (mungkin chat, tak ingat la) yang berlaku antara apis dengan seorang ni (nama dirahsiakan, jangan risau) agak lama dulu (setahun dua lepas kot). Topik sembang punya banyak masa tu (pasal studylah, life, etc.. ) tapi tentang kisah yang ini, apis paling ingat sekali. Sebab ayat yang dia cakap kat apis.

She told me, dia sebenarnya sangat jeles kat apis. Dia dah jeles lama dah. Apis pun pelik la, apasal pula nak jeles ngan apis? Apis bukan apa-apa pun. Then dia cakap, dia jeles yang apis good in academics (good lah sangat.. adoi), dia jeles yang apis ada family yang loving, dia jeles yang apis ni hidup senang sebab keluarga berada (hell no!), apa ntah lagi dia jeles, lupa dah. Then dia cakap yang apis punya hidup ni so perfect, tak ada masalah langsung. Unlike hers.

Then senyap jap. Apis tak tahu nak bagi tau dia apa. I was speechless. Forgot what I told her lepas tu. Did I console her or anything after that? Entah. Lupa. Yang apis ingat, I didn’t tell her the true story. And this, if you are reading, is the real story.

Sesetengah perfection yang awak perceive sebagai perfection tu ada di situ sebab the other side of it awak tak nampak. I hide it from you dan dari kebanyakan orang. God blessed me with lots of wonderful things, and I should be thankful (walaupun selalu je lupa), but I’m not perfect. Nobody is. He took something away from me too. Something yang too complicated and private to be discussed here. Something yang for me, sangat2 bernilai. I learned to live with it, and still do.

I also have breakdown at times. Sometimes for no apparent reason (pms kot, hahah). ha, kan ke lemah tu. but I’m lucky to have this really2 good friend of mine yang akan terus contact apis bila dia rasa apis perlukan someone to talk to. Ni long distance friendship ha.. felt truly blessed to have him as a friend. I knw you got yours too when things get tough. Jadi tengok, kita bukanlah beza sangat pun.

I do hope you have a better view about life now. Nothing is ever perfect, except God lah. Everyone is dealing with their imperfections in their own way. Jujur apis sebenarnya rasa nak nangis when you told me that my life seems perfect. Please don’t say that ever again, to anyone. Jangan buat kesimpulan terlalu awal. What makes me write this? Call me if you really want to know.


Majlis Graduasi UM 2012

Salam/ Peace be upon you,

[This is posted to clear up my drafts – first edited on October 17, 2012]

Alhamdulillah, selesai sudah mengaji di UM.
Alhamdulillah, selesai sudah mengaji di UM. Thanks mom n dad!

First of all, Apis nak ucapkan banyak-banyak terima kasih kepada semua yang hadir dan call ucap tahniah masa konvo haritu (5 Oktober 2012). Terharu sangat. Serious! Soooo many presents, teddy bears and chocolates! I have never expected that. Baru ingat nak kena upah orang buat-buat kasi present. Lol. Anyway, to those people, you know who you are; you guys have made my day. Rasa macam raja sehari pun ada tu. :p To my family, colleagues, seniors, juniors, fellow AKIUM members, and friends, thank you so much.

Continue reading Majlis Graduasi UM 2012

Things I found while cleaning up my room

Salam/ Peace be upon you,

[This is posted to clear up my drafts – first edited on July 4, 2012]

I just finished my final exam last few weeks and now looking forward for the graduation ceremony soon to be held on the first week of October. Yep. It’s 3 months of waiting. Gosh, that’s a whole lot time to kill! While most of my colleagues had or are starting their career, I prefer taking it slow. Want to spend some quality time with my family before entering the working life. And here I am, at home, still figuring out what to do for the next 3 months. Few things are already there actually. I definitely want to learn cooking, practice my French and help my mom with house chores (since she’s having real estate license exam somewhere next week). But first things first: I NEED TO CLEAN MY ROOM! All those mess from unpacking and stuffs made it looks like a pig sty. And look at the treasures I found while at it..

NOT my room. (pic from asianfanfics.com)
NOT my room. (pic from asianfanfics.com)

Continue reading Things I found while cleaning up my room

Semester Break yang Terakhir (harap-harapnya)

Salam/ Peace be upon you,

[This is posted to clear up my drafts – first edited on February 8, 2012]

16 Januari lepas, berakhir sudah satu lagi semester dekat UM. Tuptap-tuptap, dah nak masuk semester akhir dah rupanya. Ah, sekejapnya rasa macam tak percaya pulak kadang-kadang. Apa-apa pun, sebelum memecah kepala menyiapkan 2 final year project (research + plant design) semester depan, kita take a break dulu lah yea!! 3 minggu lebih cuti memang tak cukup sebenarnya tapi tak apalah, better than nothing kan?

Semua kusut before final paper, Process Control

Continue reading Semester Break yang Terakhir (harap-harapnya)

Journey to the West (A reflection)

Salam/ Peace be upon you,

There are actually few things that I wish to share here about what I’ve seen and learned while on my journey in the States. Hope it’s useful to anyone reading too!

1. I can’t help but to notice that most Americans are practicing the way of socializing promoted by the Prophet (which ironically, aren’t really practiced, at least in Malaysia, by the Muslims themselves). They smile and greet you, even if they don’t know you. Saying “Bless you!” to anyone that sneezed. I have to admit that over there it is easy for me to do so because everyone around is doing it but back in Malaysia, saying “Yarhamukallah” (meaning: May Allah bless you) in public does feel a little bit weird, at least for me it is. Dunno why. More about Islamic customs here.

Continue reading Journey to the West (A reflection)

Journey to the West (part 5: closing)

Salam/ Peace be upon you,

This part here kicks off rather sadly. I left Wildwood together with Christy, Soon Kiat and Mimi on a gloomy Tuesday morning. Thanks to their landlord, we didn’t have to drag our bags all the way to the bus station. They were really really heavy. Once we were in the bus, I started to feel horribly sad. God, feels like I’m in a movie, with this sort of mood and scenes. Sobs. It took us about one hour to reach Atlantic City Bus Terminal and from there, it’s another 2 hours before we reach Port Authority of New York. It started raining in Atlantic City, making the journey all the more sadder.

Wonderful landlord and his wife, Herman and Christine. Bid goodbye to them the night before.
Kemas katil dan bilik before keluar. Sedih tau time ni.
Goodbye, Wildwood!
Started raining at Atlantic City Bus Terminal

Continue reading Journey to the West (part 5: closing)